I quit grad school 2 1/2 years ago because I decided I wasn't going to be an opera singer anymore. It was a combination of things that led me to this decision. First, I had a terrible experience at Boston University. It was a combination of bad luck, politics, rejection, and terrible frenemies telling me how awful of a person I was. Also, my mom was going through a lot and I was terribly homesick. I just think I wasn't ready yet...mentally or emotionally.
So 2 1/2 years, and quitting various teaching jobs...my dad finally talked some sense into me. I finally admitted that I quit because I was scared. And I have to stop pretending that singing isn't the ONLY thing I ever wanted to do. I let stupid things stand in the way of my "dream." Basically dad told me that I wasn't going to ever be happy unless I did it....he just kept saying "you have to just do it...just do it..." AHHH. So after I broke down in tears and realized he was right, I spoke to some of my most trusted and wise friends, who were so happy I was going back in that direction. We decided going back to grad school was a good step for me, to get working with a good teacher, get some performance experience under my belt, etc.
I made a list! My favorite thing!! I wrote down, step by step, what I need to do short term in order to reach my intermediate and long term goals. I'm happy that the first several small steps are crossed off the list. Contacting grad advisors and teachers at some schools, contacting my old teachers, put together a possible arias list, start losing weight (gotta look the part!), get transcripts, and start singing! Once I get all my books from school (where I just recently resigned) I can really start looking at some music.
It's scary and exciting. I have the same fears I had before...failure, poverty, rejection. But I think I've been through enough to realize that it's what I have to do, and I'm ready to work hard and not give up this time.
Anyway, here goes my hot mess of a journey to success! haha....
